Sheeple (And Other Disorders)

The other day at threatwatch, DigitalGhost came up witha great new word that we thought was excellent: Sheeple. And what exactly are sheeple? Well, according to DigitalGhost, they are "... people that follow the rules without regard to common sense". Where has that word been all my life? I know more than a few sheeple I must admit!

So, in the tradition of sheeple, we put out the call, and the creative people we know came up with these variations of the sheeple theme:

Sheeple
1. People that follow the rules without regard to common sense.
2. People who think that by following the crowd and the advice they read, their site should rank #1.

Abandoneeple
Post once and never return to read the answer.

Agreeple
"I agree. Good post."

Barkeeple
Good people to have around.

Bleeple
People who can't fu$#ing control their language.

Booteeple
Banned at every forum they've ever posted at.

Bungeeple
Bounce from forum to forum asking the exact same question.

Cheaple
1. The people who won't buy AdWords or market their business any other way but editorial search listings.
2. Cheap people.

Chimpanzeeple
Employ the Infinite monkey theorem, i.e. they don't think much, and hope that if they hit enough keys it will sound intelligent!

Coffeeple
Lots of caffiene so they can stay up all night posting.

Creeple
1. the ones whose posts make you go EWWW.
2. No matter how wrong they are, they never admit it!

Degreeple
I must know what I'm talking about, I took a course and was certified!

Dimple
Those who are stuck in a small hole caused by their own stupidity.

Endorseeple
"...you are so wonderful. Thank you for all your help. I owe you my life."

Eternalsleeple
People whose posts always go on and on, and you know will put you to sleep.

Fleaple
People who don't wash often.

Freeple
1. those who search for, and enter, every freebie competition then can. A disorder, with no known cure.
2. people who want free advice all day long then snap at you when you don't say what they want to hear.
3. people who call pretending they are going to hire you but really want a free consultation.

Geeple
People who are amazed by everything "Gee, golly, that was great."

Gleeple
We're #1! We're #1.

Himorherple
A forum name that leaves everyone in doubt as to the poster's gender.

Housekeeple
Please keep to the topic at hand. I'm deleting all these offtopic posts. See also "Moderator".

Metoople
People who post "yes," "I agree" and "good post" 20 times in a day in order to get their post count up.

Pimple
Those who pimp other peoples stuff. See also affiliate.

Pubple
Those on a first name basis with the bartender.

Refugeeple
Beaten up at the rougher forums, they seek refuge in friendly forums.

Repeatple
Only ever repeat stuff they heard "I heard that..."

Sightseeple
They really don't do SEO, they are just trying to help out a friend.

Sinple
Those who spam but "only as much the other sites theat weren't banned"

Sleeple
People who can't get to the point and their posts drag on and on and on...

Stayple
Those who, when they start to do well, expect the world to never change again, and complain everyutime it does.

Traineeple
Newbies on the right track.

Triple
1. Those who trip a spam filter.
2. Those who manage to trip over their own words evey other post.

Upkeeple
Still giving out advice from 2 or 3 years ago...

Wannabeeple
They think posting with authority will convince others they know what they are talking about. They have all the answers because they got a #1 ranking for "my friend Tom's cool Camaro" and they are going to share with us how they did it.

Weeple
Why oh WHY does Google hate me? I can't feed my kids...

Yessireeple
Happily agree with every poster in a thread, even when the opinions are completely opposite.

Credit is due to Jill Whalen and Querty as well as Mike and Scottie on this one. -Scottie

McDonalds is The Root of All Evil

Save the Stupid Americans From Fat

I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine in the UK a while back... about McDonald's. He was convinced that the Golden Arches were evil and should not be allowed to do business. Why? Because they preyed on the "less intelligent" members of society with their fast, inexpensive, tasty but unhealthy fast food.

(Mike: you mean this isn't true??!?!?!)

After many arguments over capitalism and free market trade and simply giving people what they want, we got to the bottom line. He thought none of us dim Americans knew what good nutrition was! After I informed him that not only was good nutrition taught in schools but also was prominently featured on children's programming, public service announcements, and many news stories, talk shows,and cooking programs he was dumbfounded. Americans know fast food is bad for them but they eat it anyway?

The fact is, people want the convenience, the taste, and the ease of fast food. It may be a bad choice, but it is a choice, not a deception or coercion.

(Mike: BTW: Not me! I haven't eaten McDs in 4 years and counting. I feel so... much better!
Scottie: Since when are you an American, Mr Smartypants? We are all very happy for you, now back to the article...)

Spammers are the Root of All Evil

It seems the same argument applies to those who feel it is their personal duty to rid the SEO world of spam. They march under the banner of "protecting the innocents" and assume that the only reason a company would hire a spammer or employ spammy techniques on their own site is because they have been misled.

I don't buy this argument. Not only is there a TON of excellent information out there for people to read, most of the top industry voices pretty much agree that real businesses don't need to spam- even the top spammers will tell you most sites have no need to spam. You have to look hard to find the bad information these days- you have to bypass a dozen articles on the best way to do things to find one article on how to do the tricks.

The sad fact is that many people want to spam. Yep, I said it. Those innocent newbies often want to spam. A long, slow climb to the top is boring and takes time and work, and they want the fast track. So they seek out the tips, tricks, and "secret techniques" that they think will give them the edge. Cause they are so much smarter than everyone else, they think they can get ahead without having to work too hard.

The other thing is that we learn by doing. I think every professional today has "tested" things they would never employ on a client site, just to see if they worked, and how well. Part of being a good SEO is learning and the best way to learn is to experiment.

It's About Free Choice

As long as people want hot, greasy fries and a Big Mac, McDonald's will continue to thrive. Because they are selling what people want. If activists closed McD's down, people wouldn't then choose to stay home and make a nice green salad, they'd just go to Burger King. No one is forcing anyone to eat fast food, people do it because it's convenient, inexpensive, and tastes pretty good! Sure, there's a downside, it's unhealthy and will make you fat but people accept that risk.

As long as there are people looking for the fast and easy way to the top of the search engines, there will be spammers and published spam techniques. They aren't good for you, but you can't stop people from finding what they want. What we can do is what the bulk of the industry already does- publish good solid information, marketing techniques that build a great site, and provide guidance to the people who do want to learn the right way, the first time.

The others will be back to learn when they realize their "super secret tricks" really don't work. We'll offer 'em a nice lean roasted chicken and some ideas for real content!

Search Marketing Association of North America (SMA-NA) Launches Membership Drive

And the ball starts a rolling!

A press release here kicks off the drive, head of "Official elections of the Board of Officers .. scheduled for early fall 2005".

So, if it matters to you who is on the board, I guess now is a good time to join :)