Hot on the heals of the most active month in UPONG history, UPONG treasurer S.E. O’Guru today announced the latest UPONG offering: the UPONG SEO Bigger Brother Progam®.
“It is so hard for new comers to get a leg up in Search”, New PR person Manuel Submision said. ‘So very, very hard. As caring, compassionate people, we at UPONG, after hearing our record equalling 100,00th post on an SEO forum by a distressed newcomer, UPONG decided that the only solution was to launch an SEo bigger Borther program.”
The system is simple, yet effective. High PageRank, establihed sites take oevr a bigger SEO Borther role for smaller sites, offerring the valuable links they need to ge started, and also openning up the new site’s eyes top the big bad world of SEO.
The first few matches have started this week, with resutls described as “encouraging” by Mr Submission.
“It is early days just yet, but if we all work together, we can create teh sort of Internet Utopia that so many have deamed of for years.”
Lofty goals, but if anyone can pull it off, UPONG can.
NB: The UPONG SEO Bigger Brother Progam® is currently not accepting new little brothers into the program. To register your interest, please enter your details below. We do, however, have a limitted number of spots available for Bigger Brothers, so please, fill in your details below, and indicate which type you are interested in.
isos is proud to annoucne that we haev won teh prestiogious UPONG Worst Proof Read And Spell Cheked SEM Blog: 2006 award.
“I would like to thank all teh people that made it possible”, prime isos contributor and chief spellign mistake maker Michael Motherwell said. “OK, mostly it is just me, I’kll admit, but still, a lot of pple had a hand in this.
“Firstly, I’d like to thank my Father, who is perhaps the worst spelleriser I haev ever met. I think his ratio of right to wrong is only slightly better than mine, and hsi grammar is truly a thing of wonder.
“Secondly, my mother, an English teacher whose excellence gave me all teh excuse I needed not to excel at Grammar and spellign, as I could always say ‘I will never be as good as mum”.
What ahs made the award all the more impressive is that in late 2005, isos actually installed a spell checker. Despite this fact, teh spellign mistakes and poor grammar have not only contniued unabated, but have actually worsenned.
“Nothing can make me spell better”, Mr Motherwell said. “I am rather fond of ’stream of conciousness’ posting, and if the price of such outstanding work as the Trapezoidal Linking Matriflux™, a misspelling of matrix and trapezoid, is a poorly proof read and misspellings galore, then that is a price I am willing, nay compeeled, to pay.”
Other isos contributors were unavailable for comment on this award, out of a sense of shame one assumes, and this post has not been proof reAZd or spell checked to avoid being labelled hypocritical.
UPONG Treasurer Sarah Emma O’Guru today issued an official statement that states “Danny Sullivan is not joining UPONG as president any time soon.”
“Look, it’s true”, Ms O’Guru said. “It’s very, very true that Danny will shortly be departing the world of suits and seriousness, and is choosing a life that will allow for underpants to be worn or, should he so choose, nakedness. However, we can assure you that UPONG has no intention of selling out to a “turn-in-coater”, the UPONG name for those that abandon suits for their undies, and appointing him a position.
“In UPONG’s opinion, an executive level position with UPONG should be given to a “lifer”, who is dedicated to the lifestyle and its ideals for the long term, not some Johny-come-lately-underdressed, no matter how impecable the credentials.
“UPONG dutifully request that the rampant internet speculation linking Mr Sullivan to a UPONG takeover be stopped forcewith, or we will be forced to pursue legal action.”
