This mysterious document was discovered online recently, but it quickly vanished. We’re not sure where it came from and we don’t know who wrote it, but we felt that it merited some attention. When it was initially found, the last passage was at the beginning, but we felt it would be easier to follow if we published it in chronological order.
This is so exciting. I’m all a-twitter. Har har.
02:45 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Reading RSS feeds
02:45 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Still catching up on feeds
03:11 PM March 3, 2007 from web
About to do some work, but I haven’t checked up on the forums in a few hours
03:48 PM March 3, 2007 from web
On the clock, doing some work. Woo hoo!
04:15 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Responding to response to my forum post
04:21 PM March 3, 2007 from web
RSS again
04:35 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Got an Outlook reminder to do a log file analysis. Too much other work though, so I’ll snooze it for a day.
05:01 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Work!
05:03 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Wow. Got so caught up in work I forgot to make dinner.
05:22 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Off to the B**** in C********
05:28 PM March 3, 2007 from web
At the B****. No open tables, so I’m at the bar.
05:50 PM March 3, 2007 from txt
Having a Bass
05:54 PM March 3, 2007 from txt
Making Homer Simpson drooling noise for sesame encrusted pan seared tuna
06:05 PM March 3, 2007 from txt
Found out the bartender is a web designer, and a fellow twitterer… “twit,” maybe? Say hi, P***. Hey dudes, this is P***. That was P***.
05:50 PM March 3, 2007 from txt
Heading home
06:48 PM March 3, 2007 from txt
Back to work
07:25 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Updating forum posts
07:31 PM March 3, 2007 from web
RSS
07:55 PM March 3, 2007 from web
TV
07:59 PM March 3, 2007 from web
More RSS
11:35 PM March 3, 2007 from web
Oh hey P***
11:51 PM March 3, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
Ya, you too
11:52 PM March 3, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
No, not really. I have someone in ** I send design work to.
11:52 PM March 3, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
I’ve heard of it, but I don’t do it. Too risky + not my style
11:53 PM March 3, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
oh, i gotta go. Have to get up early tomorrow.
11:54 PM March 3, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
Sure. see ya
11:54 PM March 3, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
erm… let’s do some work
00:02 AM March 4, 2007 from web
done for the night. Going to bed
01:14 AM March 4, 2007 from web
OK, back to it.
09:19 AM March 4, 2007 from web
Oh, hey. good morning
09:20 AM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
no, i went to bed. I couldn’t sleep, so I did some work.
09:20 AM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
Take it easy. I’ve got no reason to lie to you. Look I have to feed the cats and get some work done, ok?
09:21 AM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
Feeding the cats and rolling my eyes
09:25 AM March 4, 2007 from web
Doin that work thang.
10:03 AM March 4, 2007 from web
bored
11:18 AM March 4, 2007 from web
doing sudoku!
11:25 AM March 4, 2007 from web
I suck at sudoku. back to work.
12:44 PM March 4, 2007 from web
Forum stuff, RSS stuff, stuff…
01:38 PM March 4, 2007 from web
work work work
03:41 PM March 4, 2007 from web
Hey. Can’t really chat now. I’m working.
04:55 PM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
No, I didn’t tell you to do that. I said I don’t do it.
04:55 PM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
banned? after a day? Nobody gets banned that quickly.
04:56 PM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
Look, I doubt you’re banned, and in any case, I did not tell you to do that. give me a break, man
04:56 PM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
do you mind i said I have work to do. I gotta go.
04:57 PM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
There’s that reminder about the traffic analysis again. I’ll do it after dinner.
05:01 PM March 4, 2007 from web
I’m my way to C*** H*** . No way i’m going to the B**** again. Not with younowho working ther.
05:12 PM March 4, 2007 from txt
Heh. He was waiting at the bar. Forget it. I’ll get a burrito.
05:36 PM March 4, 2007 from txt
Home. Done with dinner. Back to work
06:15 PM March 4, 2007 from web
dammit, just forget it. I told you it has nothign to do with me
06:57 PM March 4, 2007 from im in reply to Phil_D_Zynes
Answering the doorbell
07:05 PM March 4, 2007 from web
AArrrrrgh help mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
07:07 PM March 4, 2007 from web
March 20th, 2007
We hear that some big shot at a PPC company is claiming that SEO is more like baking a cake than rocket science. Personally, we at isos never thought it was like either of them, but if this “Pastaneck” (is that really his name??) person insists, we figure it’s worth exploring.
How is SEO like rocket science? Erm… it isn’t. Rocket science deals with calculations like Tsiolkovsky’s rocket equation:
I guess Pastaneck has a point there. That doesn’t look like any Google patents I’m aware of. But considering NASA’s record of late, even the rocket scientists seem to have forgotten that rocket science is rocket science, so you can’t expect something that isn’t rocket science to be rocket science. That just doesn’t make sense, Mr Macaroni Person.
How is SEO like baking a cake? Well, it’s important to fully cream your butter before gently folding in the flour… No, I’m afraid that doesn’t work either. Sorry Noodles, but SEO is not like baking a cake.
So let’s examine what Noodles’ company does. Is PPC like rocket science? Of course not. Is it like baking a cake? No, I don’t think so. So what is it like? Well, I think it’s notable that two-thirds of PPC is pee pee. Draw your own conclusions.
Have you seen the memo that was leaked by a disgruntled former employee of Noodles’ company?
To: All Account Managers
From: The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Urgent: Increase ad spend on all clients by 35% immediately. I’ve got a balloon payment due on my place in the Hamptons in a couple of weeks.
Kind of makes you think, doesn’t it? Imagine how much it would make you think if it were real.
While you’re thinking, think about this: If he thinks SEO is so easy, that might explain why he thinks he can beat all the SEOs competing to rank on his name by the use of practically duplicate content. Oh yeah, love that hyphenated file name. That’ll make all the difference in the world, Noodles.
And if PPC is so great, why does he need a second job cooking fish?
I suppose it’s odd to say that I’ve been struck by Pasternack’s empathy for fish, given his recurring role in their demise, but he nevertheless seems intent upon doing honor to the deceased, characteristically by doing no more than necessary to evoke essential flavors and unembellished subtleties. Not that he’s unwilling to call a fish a fish. One day, as I watched him reduce an eight-pound mahi-mahi to about thirty bites of crudo, he showed me its pearly, iridescent pale-pink flesh and said, “You don’t always see it this color. Sometimes the meat’s a little grayer.” On the other hand, mahi-mahi is “a very stupid fish. You catch one and you leave him in the water and all the others’ll follow and you can catch ‘em all. Not very smart. Good eating, though.”
Sorry, Tuna Casserole, but I don’t think you’ve done a very good job of proving your point. So there.
January 28th, 2007
