Press Release: isos Launch Soul Sellin’ Link Bonanza (SSLB) Program

For too long, people have struggled to get links. The difficulty of creating content, seeking out partners and generally building content and neat ideas is becoming too much.

So what do you do? Who do you turn to?

Isos, that’s who!

In a collaboration with Beelzebub inc, Isos have created a link building system designed to get YOU the links YOU need.

Beelzebub inc CEO Lucifer

At the launch, Beelzebub Inc CEO, Lucifer, had this to say:

“Selling your soul for links has never been easier than with the Isos and Beelzebub Inc Soul Sellin’ Link Bonanza (SSLB) program. For the bargain price of an eternity in hell, Isos and Beelzebub Inc are offering ten (10) PageRank8 links, one hundred (100) PageRank7 links, and one thousand (1,000) PageRank6 links. All on authority sites, all on separate IP C blocks, and all driving profitable traffic that will help you live better in this life, never mind the next.

“Forget link bait. Forget competitions. Forget buying, trading or begging for links. With one simple transaction and an eternity of warmer-than-average weather, you can have success in this world NOW.”

As souls are a one-sale item, the price will unfortunately be fixed. However, Isos and Beelzebub Inc are also offerring a second, less effective package, referred to as the Purgatory Soul Grabbin’ Gamble (PSGG). This package offers no particular or specific number of links, but comes with the potential to avoid eternal damnation, and instead end up in the balmy nowhereness of Purgatory.

“We must of course stress”, Lucifer said. “That the PSGG comes with absolutely no-guarantees, of either success or links, and any results will truly be variable at best, with no expected ROI. Still, you have a chance to avoid eternal damnation, so it isn’t all downside, and for those that care about their immortal souls more than they care about their wealth on Earth, this is a great introductory package. Upgrading, at anytime will, of course, be possible, although downgrades will not be available.”

For more information on this incredible, bargain basement program, please Click Here.

16 comments January 27th, 2006

Black Hat SEOs Replace Usama As Most Wanted

In response to growing discontent at the state of search engine spam on many SEO forums, the FBI has bowed to intense pressure and released a new 10 most wanted list, that includes 8 known Black Hat spammers, as well as inconsequential mass criminals such as Usama bin Laden and Drug Lord Diego Leon Montoya Sanchez.

An FBI spokesman said it had become “… increasingly clear to us that SE spam is as bad as crimes such as Bank robbery, murder, drug dealing and organised crime. As such, we have decided to make SE spammers our number one target for 2006, and we will stop at nothing to capture the offenders.”

Amongst the rewards offered are the usual $100,000, as well as “… upto ten backlinks” which the FBI has promised will be on “…high PageRank FBI pages, with the inherent TrustRank benefits that offers, along with the anchor text of the informants choosing upto and including 100 characters.” The FBI further guaranteed that these pages will stay live indefinitely, further boosting their SEO appeal.

Whilst many in the industry have appluaded the move, and see this as a validation of years of pressure about the ills of SE spam, not everyone is happy. Said a noted Victim’s Rights advocate, “SE spam is as bad as mass murder? Man, methinks the FBI has been smoking some of the Crack they impounded from Latin America.”

3 comments December 7th, 2005

isos Now Offerring Podcasts

That’s right, in a vain attempt to stay hip and happenning, isos have launched a podcast, starting with this very post.

Simply download the MP3 file and listen rather than read, your regular dose of on-topic hillarity.

2 comments November 8th, 2005