isos Goes Cyber-postal
Having yet again failed to secure a Semmy nomination, isos staff writer Claus, Santa went Cyber-postal today.
“It was brutal”, said an unnamed isos staff member. “Santa was literally going nuts. Well, OK, not LITERALLY nuts. I mean, he isn’t a pistachio as we speak. But he did go cyber-postal FTW.”
Details are sketchy, but Santa, apparently incessed that his comedic return to the hillarious and wildly popular quasi-annual mailbox series didn’t garner a SEMMY nomination, sent the following email to all@insearchofstuff.com:
F%$#@ making a list and checking it twice, those motherf%^$%^%$^ers can go %$#$ themselves if they think one Santa Q Claus is going to sit around and get ^%$^ed in the &^%^& again by those ^%R^%R over @ the Semmys. They can go. ^&$%. Them. Selves.
And don’t give the fat man that BS about accidentallying his nomination. Santa don’t buy that at all.
Be warned Semmys: Santa is gonna bring the heat and go cyber-postal on your a$$3$. And that heat is gonna burn. Burn like unwashed hands on genitalia after cutting chillies. BURN, BABY, BURN.
The cyber-postalism got so bad late Monday night that cyber-negotiators were bought in to talk Santa down via Twitter. After getting the fail whale, ICQ also failed when Santa turned Trillian off, and a request to see his online presence on Skype was blocked, ultimately forcing negotiators into the indignity, lagginess and downright lameness of gmail chat.
Negotiations are continuing, but negotiators say they aren’t terribly optimistic of a result, being “… one closed tab away from oblivion”.
isos will keep you informed of developments as they unfold.
Add comment January 19th, 2009
