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Matt Cutts Passes Wind, Sends Blogosphere Into A Sphinn

May 30th, 2008 by mike

Breaking our own long standing editorial rule on puns (editor: right, like you ever editted/proof read/considered these posts at all), isos wish to report on the controversy surrounding the case of Matt Cutts and the noxious gases.

Not the actual act itself. Oh no, we couldn’t care less about whether it happenned or not. I mean, really, who cares about facts these days? The real news is the reporting of other people’s reporting of someone else’s comments on something that no one can quite remember. Outrage about something is just so damned hot right now.

Anyhoo, it seems that the unfortunate confluence of gases, discomfort, human biology and one man has sent the Interwebtubes into a absolute tizzy from which the keyboards of the world may never recover.

SEOblogbloke77 claims that the passing of wind was “hypocritical, what with youtube’s stance on ‘adult’ themes, and shows yet again Google’s descent into the abyss of evil.” Amanda over @ SEOmothers.com, however, wants to know “what about the children? Why won’t anyone think about the chidlren? If passing wind is now acceptable and even indoorsed (sic), kids everywhere will start telling fart jokes, and we are right back to 1999 and the dark days of Beavis and Butthead.”

Other commentators link it to the great Hitler controversy of 1939, when an unfortunate Bratwurst caused the Fuhrer to be so iritable that invading Poland was the only distraction that worked. Some have even claimed the fart was mentioned in the Book of Revelations as a sign of the Apocalypse, and some of the Buddhist SEOs claimed that the fart was a reincarnation of one dropped at thr start of last century by the author Hemmingway.

But not all comments have been negative or exagerated. A few, just a few, were overwhelming in their stance that it “was just gas”, and more than a few people pointed out that “everyone does it. What’s the big deal?”

Aparently, the big deal is that Matt Cutts did it, and everything he does/thinks/writes/considers/can be misquoted to kinda sorta make it seem like he agreed to is news. Heaven help us all if he ever goes all Hans Reiser on us. Someone might blow a vein in their temples!

@isos, we are simply excited that, after months and months of nothingness, an obscure and rather trivial event in Mr Cutts life has allowed a bored, unimaginative, out of ideas blog community with, lets be honest, not much left to say to get all hot and heavy and worked up about how much everyone else is getting all worked up, hot and heavy. This nerd blogging orgy, whilst prurient in the most repugnant and vomit inducing way imaginable, at least passed the three hours we spent at the airport surrounded by ugly people.

And really, could there possibly be a higher calling for this great medium than a nerd orgy of pointlessness to distract the airport laden?

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Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings