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San Jose Bait Bait
August 18th, 2007 by qwerty
We all know about linkbait. Most of us are well aware of drinkbait, and if you know drinkbait, you probably know hatbait. Now that more than half a year has passed, we feel sufficiently distant from any threat of an IP lawsuit, and with just a couple of days before the fun and excitement begins at SES San Jose, we wanted to let you know about all the excitingly viral (and virally exciting) programs awaiting you. I won’t be there (because, I have to admit, I don’t know the way there –ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba), but I’m counting on your participation so that I can get my vicarious kicks.
Stinkbait
A special team of revelers will be reveling an awful lot, and not washing. If you can stand to be in their presence long enough to have your picture taken with them (no holding your nose!) we’ll post the pic of your lovely grimace.
Shrinkbait
We’ll be taking over a major SEM firm’s booth (probably without telling them) and transforming it into a psychiatrist’s office. You will be videotaped telling our therapist about how messed up your childhood was. C’mon, you’re a geek. We know you’re neurotic as hell.
Blinkbait
Search marketing staring contests! Need we say more?
Lincbait
Whether you’re old enough to remember the Mod Squad or not (the stupid movie doesn’t count), you’ll pay tribute to Clarence Williams III’s immortal character Lincoln Hayes by donning a rather large afro wig and saying “Solid”. Why? Because Linc was cool, that’s why.
Syncbait
Can you channel Dionne Warwick and lip sync to the most famous song about San Jose? Actually, I think it’s the only song about San Jose. I mean, it ain’t San Francisco.
Frinkbait
Put on the lab coat, the bow tie, the coke bottle glasses and the buck teeth (bring your own if you’re squeamish about germs) and explain your choice of search engine patents in the voice of the famed professor. Glaben.
Inkbait
Got a tattoo? Oooh. Aren’t you cool and hip and with it. How about this: have you got a search-related tattoo — your firm’s logo (Nike execs do it, so why haven’t you?), your favorite search engine, the image of your favorite celeb-o’-search…. Vanessa Fox in some state of undress, perhaps? I know somebody out there just has to have a Matt Cutts tat. No? Would you like to get one?
All this and more await you in beautiful San Jose. And if you participate in all of these exciting activities, we might even link to you.
Entry Filed under: Community Announcements
4 Comments Add your own
1. mike | August 18th, 2007 at 8:19 am
FRINKBAIT!!! ROFL!!!!
Weith the searching, and the SEOing, and PPCing and the HEE HAWWW.
2. Aidan | August 21st, 2007 at 11:48 am
I’m about to get to the conference myself and plan to try out
Winkbait
Repeatedly closing one eye at your target until they approach asking “do I know you?”, whereby you embark on a series of questions/gushing endorsements of their SEOlebrity status/link exchange requests/excuses as you claim to have something in your eye.
3. jexley | November 4th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
HAHahhahahhahaa… winkbait rocks, but only because “stinkbait” wasn’t at ALL what I thought it was going to be. Three words: Beans… poo-ee
I won’t be there myself, but at our next minor league get together, I’m introducing dinkbait, where I only acknowledge the presence of working couples without children (DINK-Double Income No Kids).
Heh, “dinkbait” could have another meaning too, eh? Mebbe I better rethink that one.
4. Steve | November 7th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
My favorite is Syncbait. That San Jose song is a classic.
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