Google considering REALLY Universal Search
On the heels of Google’s recent announcement, which their blog terms “just the first step in the evolution toward universal search,” rumors are swirling that they are nearly ready to take the second step, code-named Omniscient Search.
According to a Google spokesperson of indeterminate gender (let’s call him/her “Pat”), “We don’t believe muddled thinking, unclear objectives or poor spelling should stand in the way of someone being able to find what they’re seeking. Google 2.1 (Build 1.06g), Omniscient Search, will make that possible. Let’s face it — we’ve got a better idea than most searchers what it is they’re really looking for, and we certainly know better than they do how to find it.”
“So, let’s say, for instance, you’ve misplaced your car keys. All you do is type in to Google: ‘Now where are my keys?’ and we will return results blending informative articles outlining industry best practices for locating lost items, humorous blog entries and MySpace comments from your so-called friends debating whether or not it’s a good idea for you to be allowed to drive in the first place, photos from Flickr showing your keys lurking in the far left corner of your kitchen counter behind the stack of empty pizza boxes and beer cans from last night’s party, and a YouTube video of your mom fussing at you for keeping such a messy house.”
“Pat“ also confirmed Google is evaluating the feasibility of equipping robotic agents with the ability to read your brain waves and physically retrieve and deliver to you whatever you’re searching for, thus eliminating the final hurdle — people who don’t own or have access to computers with which to run Google searches — standing between Google and total world domination.
Leading search industry pundits have already agreed to designate this third-stage development as Google 3.8, Service Pack 2, but it will apparently be officially referred to by Google as Omnipresent Search. Rumors are swirling that the U.S. military will participate in testing; their initial test will reportedly be a search on the phrase “Osama Bin Laden.”
2 comments May 24th, 2007
