When Springer Marketing Goes Wrong
When Terry* started his SEO forum, blog and business, he took the only sane advice he could find on the internet, and decided to employ isos incredible Springer Forum Marketing tactics.
“Did I ever”, Terry told isos. “I was insulting people up the Yinn Yang. I fully called Danny Suillivan "Americenglish", cause he is like American living in England, and I totally called Jill Whalen Jack and asked her when she would go up a hill and die. You know, like that rockin’ nursery rhyme. That killed.”
Unfortunately, Terry discovered a schocking truth: after a while, people stopped caring what he said. His forum and blog, which had originally generated millions of comments and posts, started to become empty to the point of becoming a ghost town.
“It broke my heart”, Terry said. “Here I was, putting in all this effort, and the today’s posts started bringing up fewer and fewer topics.”
The low point, Terry told us, was the day he when, due to a lunch date downstairs with his mum, Terry didn’t get to check the day’s posts until 3pm. What he saw shocked him.
“Not one post. Nada. Zip. Zilch. The big goose egg. The popualtion of Cydonia, Mars. Not a single, solitary post.”
Terry, heart broken and beside himself, tried everything to get things started again.
“I started insultuing anyone I could think of. Famous SEOs, not so famous SEOs, people who hade more than ten forum posts, people with less than ten forum posts. The President. If it hadn’t been for that visit from the nice people in the secret service, I wouldn’t have thought any of the insults were even heard.”
It was at this low point that Terry had a brain flash.
“I finally thought of a way to generate posts: laughing at spammers. I set up a forum where I moved all the spam posts my forum got, and I started poking fun at the spammers, calling them names like "clueless". It wasn’t working real well at first, but then I submitted my site to every spam list I could find, and before long, I had upwards of 50 spam posts a day. Moving them to my Spamming Idiot Toads forum gave me what appeared to be an active forum, and I was finally happy again.”
Things haven’t improved too much since then, as pretty much only the spammers post at his forum these days, but at least its a start, and a few straglers come in once in a while and post things like “LOL” and “ROFL”.
“In any case”, Terry told isos. “People need to be aware that Springer Forum Marketing has a corollary: if you are a massive dickhead, eventually people will just ignore you, so be careful how much of a prick you market yourself as.”
Add comment May 9th, 2007
