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SEO… SEM… SEX
December 5th, 2006 by qwerty
Here at isos, we’ve been ruminating about how to contribute to the growth of online marketing. There have been plenty of fancy studies done that demonstrate the financial advantages of search marketing for branding, visibility, usability and reputation management. We’ve put up a pretty business-savvy front to woo the affections of marketing managers of small, medium, large and ultrasuperüber large enterprises. So what’s the next step? How do we grab more attention?
Come on people, we work online. We know what gets those eyes onto a page. It’s sex, of course. And with that in mind, isos, in conjunction with UPONG (a pretty sexy concept, if you ask me) and inspired by that Justin Hikingboot person, hereby announce that 2007 will be the year that we bring Sexy back to Search.
No more white hat/black hat nonsense. Hats aren’t sexy unless there’s a sexy head in them, and let’s be frank — very few of us have sexy heads. Maybe if we washed our hair now and then… but that’s asking rather a lot, I’d say. From this moment on, we will proudly and provocatively identify ourselves and our professional methodology by the color of our thongs. And at conferences, we will be sure to pull them up on our hips so that their color is visible to anyone checking us out.
And “organic” SEO? It’s a pleasant thought, I suppose, but it’s not very accurate. What’s organic about a search engine’s algorithm? Nothing, that’s what. And besides, the concept of organic SEO makes me think of geeks in overalls and straw hats spreading manure all over their computers. That’s not the picture we want to promote. When I think of getting that top spot on a SERP, I think of something quite a bit more pleasurable, so henceforth, the term “organic SEO” is to be replaced with “orgasmic SEX”.
We’re not pretending that this will be easy. Obviously, we’re putting ourselves into direct competition with people who’ve been using this terminology for a long time. But the benefits are just too much to pass up, and I know we can succeed.
We don’t need surveys of marketing managers. We don’t need ROI statistics. What we need is video of Paris Hilton saying something like “Search marketing… that’s hot.”
Entry Filed under: Community Announcements, UPONG
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