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UPONG Launch SEO Accreditation
August 24th, 2006 by SEOGuruExpertMaster
“Credibility: once you know how to fake it, you got it made.”
The lead off statement from a new get rich quick scheme? No, it is the the tag line for a new product released today by everyone’s favourite fictional organisation, UPONG.
 Credibility: once you know how to fake it, you got it made |
“For so long”, newly imagined UPONG El Presidente Terry Wrist started his long winded rant. “I have clearly been amonsgt the top 25 bestestest SEOs worldwide. OK OK OK, maybe that is stretching it. I am at least the amongst the best 25 in New Zealand. No, no, tell a lie. That is probably a stretch. I am certainly amongst the best 25 in Aukland. Anyhoo, as I was saying, I am clearly amongst the top 25 SEOs in a region that I haven’t yet defined. The problem is, how do I show that to the unsuspecting suckers potential customers that visit my site? I can’t, and that really {EXPLETIVES REMOVED}es me right off.”
As such, Terry’s first task when imagined elected into office was to instigate the new UPONG programme: the UPONG Seal Of Excellence™ program.
“This is exactly the sort of bogus, BS award that the SEM/O community has been crying out for”, Terry Said. “For so long, bogus internet awards have been the sole domain of the web design community. And while the Web Design fraternity has been handing out awards willy nilly, to all manner of {EXPLETIVES REMOVED} sites built by {EXPLETIVES REMOVED} designers, we in the SEM/O communtiy have had diddly, as in squat.”
But no longer. Finally, with this revolutionary step forward, possible only because of the the intestinal fortitude and vision of UPONG, the SEO/M community has an award / rating system of its own that it can proudly display and use to validate the smallest and the largest SEO/M firms amongst us to Joe Searcher how truly 1337 we are.”
UPONG reports that the new certification has been extrememly well received by the community. “Embraced is the word I would use”, Terry said, with sales claimed to have been “bullish”.
“SEO/M firms can’t get enough of this”, Terry said. “Already, UPONG have sold 73 of the top 25 wordwide firm certificates, and over 100 over the top 5 country certificates, with 77 in India alone. We feel that demand will remain strong worldwide in the last quarter of ‘06, and that the individualised, country specific top 5 certificates are an underdeveloped market waiting to be exploited scammed capitalised serviced.”
But it doesn’t stop there. On no. What use is a rating if it can not be independontly* (sic) verified? Little or none.
That is why UPONG have used the powerfully credible authority site that is isos to validate all listings. A page hosted by isos provides third party verification clearly showing that ab firm is indeed rated highly, to really ram home how prestigious these certificates are. By merely linking to a specified file on the isos site, the rating is instantly verifiable to anyone with a left clickable mouse, which according to our data is 97% of internet users.”
Of course, cost is always an issue. Thankfully, UPONG have kept costs to a minimum, and these industry leading accreditation and ranking certificates can be purchased online right now for the grand sum of US$25 for a top 25 worldwide rating, and/or the bargain basement price of only US$15 to be a top 5 rated firm in your country / area of choice.
To register your interest in this unbelievable product, please fill in the details below, and you will be presented with a certificate on the spot.
Independontly means we can say for sure they paid us.
Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings, Products, UPONG
1 Comment Add your own
1. Torka | August 25th, 2006 at 7:29 am
Excellent! I want one of each.
–Torka
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