You are the 1st person to read this article. And we thank you, our only reader, for your love and warmth.
isos Return With Life Changing Product
July 14th, 2006 by SEOGuruExpertMaster
Finally, after months of testing, of intensive design, redesign, and even more redesign, the completion of a series of exhaustive tests carried out to the exacting six sigma level and quite frankly, a lot of Chardonanys, we are ready to unleash the greatest product ever launched anywhere at any time by anyone. Hyperbole? I don’t think so when the product is this bloody good.
Ladies and gentlemen, after years of being two steps ahead of the curve with innovative linking products like the Trapezoidal Linking Matriflux™ and super advanced link building strategies like Committing Crimes for Links, isos are proud to unveil the greatest link building product ever brought to market.
Allow me to present to you:
The isos Brand® Linkbait Web Assassin Series
Lets face it, linkbait is hot right now. Everywhere isos go, people want to hear about Linkbaiting. “Where can we get some linkbait? Got any linkbait? Can I have some linkbait? “
 |
| Catch More Links Linkbait From isos |
Because we at isos are nothing if not whores to public demand, we have set our immense intellects to fullfilling your Linkbait needs and desires. You wanted it, and we have (finally) delivered it.
Not just any old product either. Oh no. When isos release a product, we do it right. Any product has to be 100% aligned with our Mission Statement of Simplicity Through Convolution. We needed a product that is so ridiculously convoluted that only the most savvy Web marketers could grasp its sheer complexity and yet is so simple anyone could implement it. With the isos Brand® Linkbait Web Assassin Series, we have not only achieved this seemingly contradictory goal,but we have done it without resorting to cheap stunts, second rate material, a TLA or even a radar graph.
But we didn’t stop there. We know that the needs of sites vary and your needs are not the same as your neighbours. So we designed the isos Brand® Linkbait Web Assassin Series to different levels to suit every niche and budget. Whether you are looking to harpoon a PageRank Ten whale link, like the Japanese for “research purposes” or commercially, or are merely throwing a line out looking for a pr0n industry bottom feeder link, we have a product designed for you, by marketers that understand your needs.
Budget conscious? Our Small Fry Linkbait Lite® option, a bargain at $9.99, is for you.
The sort of person that orders the second cheapest bottle of wine at a restaurant? May I suggest the excellent, second from bottom, $19.99 mid-range Tacklemeister Linkbait Lure Extraordinaire™. Nothing says “so totally not cheap” like 2nd worst.
And for those who only accept the best; who are driven to succeed by a combination of a personality as hideous as their exterior is repulsive and a need to “show” everyone who ever teased them in high school, for you we have the Whalebait Odessey 2010 Linkbait Extreme™. At only $29.99, this product will help you get the links you desire to help you stop “flying solo”, and start make babies with real, living, flesh and blood human beings 1.0.
Skeptical? Worried that it may not be for you? Well fear not, as each product comes with the isos Brand® guaraantee, that if you aren’t 100% percent satisfied with the product and you can fulfill some minor requirements**, we will refund *** your money. NO (MORE) QUESTIONS ASKED.
But hurry, this offer can’t last! Beg, borrow, steal, commit white collar crime, do whatever you have to to buy this amazing product TODAY.
The isos Brand® Linkbait Web Assassin Series Complete Product Range
- Small Fry Linkbait Lite®
- Tacklemeister Linkbait Lure Extraordinaire™
- Whalebait Odessey 2010 Linkbait Extreme™
*Please note: “Guaraantee” means a claim made that will not be honoured in any way, shape or form. It is not to be confused with “Guarantee”.
**Requirements are that you can find us and can recite the alphabet backwards whilst whistling the Chemical Brother’s
Out Of Control
and playing Jimi Hendrix’s
- Voodoo Chile
with your teeth
***Refund not to exceed 18% of the purchase price
Entry Filed under: Joint Ramblings, Products
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed