In Search Of Stuff

2006 isos Search Predictions

December 24th, 2005 by mike

isos, on yet another bandwagon, officially release our 2006 search industry predictions. Drum roll pulease.

1. Google will get bad press.
2. Yahoo will continue to fail to capitalise.
3. MSN and Bill Gates will “drop the ball” on something new, admit it, and then pick up the ball and stand around going “OK, is this a basketball, football or cricket ball? Someone tell Bill we have the ball, we just aren’t sure what to do with it”.
4. Search will be integrated with everything from mobile phones to microwaves, but people will continue to use their browser to search, their mobile phones to make calls and their microwave to reheat 4 day old pizza that is “still good”.
5. Toolbars are yesterdays news, wiht only 99% of online businesses releasing a toolbar, down .9% from 2005.
6. LookSmart continue to be a word that invokes sniggers amongst SEM community.
7. Kanoodle and others will continue to promote the idea there is a second tier, start own trade organisation. Current working titled “What About Us?”
8. The Hilton in Paris will continue to pay well over the odds for PPC traffic, and leave many punters bitterly disapointed when they arive at their site.
9. Ditto the Lindsay Lohan Hotel in Dubbo, Australia.
10. Podcasts provide bored Geeks with 10 minuites of laughs, followed by months of indifference.
11. Google attempt to Trademark the word “beta”.
12. The meta keyword will make a stunning comeback and be voted “most improved ranking factor 2006″.
13. Blackhat will use “all SEO is spam” in forum debate before 6 pm January 1st, breaking the 2005 mark by 2 hours.
14. Whitehat Supremicsts will make wild accusations against unamed Black Hats.
15. The WMW robots.txt blog will be described as “Web 2.0 at its most cutting edge”, draw rave reviews, and then somehow end up forgotten.
16. isos will release poorly thoughtout blog post that neither invokes laughs nor provides insight.
17. Link buying voted “Most Likely To Cause Ruffled Feathers” in 2006 Yearbook.
18. The numbers 11, 12 and 13 sue Google over second page position, demand Google expand front page listings to 13.
19. Google release rel=”this_link_is_not_paid_I_promise” link attribute.
20. Yahoo and MSN release products eerily like Google offerings from 2 years ago, yet still proclaim releases “breakthroughs”.
21. Froogle rebranded as “wanton, wasteful spendingoogle” in hopes of increased sales leads.
22. Simpsons’ cretor Matt Groening sues isos over Grandpa Simpson Letter To DMOZ podcast (Thank you Timmy Whalen. You gotta hear Grandpa say “geriatics-on-heat.com - Champagne comedy )
23. isos break own search prediction record by releasing a list of 1,000,001 search predictions for 2007.

PS: Merry non-denomenational period of joyousness, and a Happy Gregorian Calendar changing numberness

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Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings