Ancient Chinese Symbol To Destroy SEO Divide, Isolate Grey Hats Instead
For many moons, the Black Hats and White hats fought a war that many thought would never end. But now, at last, we may finally see peace in our time. A rengade group of SEOs, embracing and re-interpretting an ancient Chinese symbol, have chosen to unite the two sides against a common enemy: Grey Hats.
 Yin Yang or… |
The renagdes choice of symbol? The Yin Yang symbol, also known as the I-ching, the name the SEO renegades have chosen for their radical group. At the very heart of Chinese philosphy, the I-ching, with its all black and white motif, is claimed by devotees to be a statement on SEO that leaves no room for greys.
“Black or white, white or black. It is right there in the symbol, man”, leader of the renegade I-ching, SEO_guru_professor, said to isos.
“And what is a Grey Hat?”, he continued. “How do you do something a little bit bad, or a little bit OK? Seriously, dude, make a frickin’ stand. Fences are for dividing, not sitting on. So get off the fence ya namby pambie behinds and pick a side. I-ching, the philosophy and our group, demands no less.”
SEO_guru_professor, said to be both the figurehead and philosophical heart of the group, claims that anyone who is grey is the groups target, and no one that claims to be anything but black as the ace of spades with a tiny speck of white at the core, or visa versa, will be safe.
“We plan to start with a saturation Blogging campaign, in which as many blogs as we can get up and running as soon as possible will all start shouting our message, damning Grey Hats. For obvious reasons, we are having some internal conflicts about the best approach, with the black hats wanting to automate the whole process, and White Hats claiming that well written, useful blogs are a better long term approach, leading to a better Return On Insults (ROI ). Thankfully, no one has yet suggested any marginal tactics, so we only have two extreme choices to deal with.”
The first target of the I-ching will be Grey Hat News. “They claim it, right there, in their domain name. If they can’t make a stand so bad they name their site Grey Hat News, they are asking for it.”
Responding to claims that the I-ching are reading too much into an ancient symbol whose meaning has been bastardised continually since the Peacenik movement of the 1960s, and that commentary on SEO was hardly the intended message of the symbol, SEO_guru_professor responded with an unprintable tirade of profanity, before saying “…if you don’t, like, get the I-ching, man, then like, ^&%$% off away from me, dude. You aren’t worth wasting my time on, your Grey Hat troll apologist. I bet you have never made a stand in your life. You make me sick…” before falling back into profanity.
The targets of I-ching refused to comment, mainly because isos didn’t ask them, but if we had, they are sure they would refuse on the grounds that “…grey hats are against all extremist views. Why can’t we just all love each other?”
isos promise to keep a close eye on the I-ching as they develop…
6 comments October 27th, 2005
