In Search Of Stuff

ISoS Change Tact: Exploit Non-Search Stereotypes for Laughs

October 20th, 2005 by mike

Tired of exploiting the stereotypes about searchers and Search Engines, and in a hopeless attempt to broaden our appeal beyond SEM geeks, ISoS have instead turned our razor sharp wit and biting satire to another stereotype, George W Bush’s famed stupidity.

Utilising competitor analysis data pulled from ISP logs situated outside the Whitehouse and Camp David, fictional competitive research company B.I.N. (Big Important Nam) inc, utilising their Market Analysis Charting Guru Companion 2005 Lite Suite, have been able to plot and graph what exactly Doubleya was searching for on given dates. The following graph shows common, big ticket searches, or the “head terms” Bush Googled:

The most interesting snippets include:

• Doubleya’s discovery of Google in January 2003 has resulted in a flurry of Googling ever since. It seems Doubleya’s obsession began with [Miserable Failure]. Ever since, it appears that first thing he does when he gets to work, when he works, right at the crack of noon, is Google [miserable failure]. Confidential ISoS Whitehouse correspondents have told us that, so concerned was Doubleya at this SERP, that they secretly had the results switched in May, with Mike Moore first, followed by Hillary Clinton and George third. Doubleya was apparently so overjoyed at being “fourth” (sic), that he took a holiday to celebrate. That said, they did notice that the rate of clicks for the number one ranked site dropped from 42% to 38% after his change was made, proving that Bush was a far better choice as the most relevant result, and further reinforcing independent research.
• Before the invasion of Iraq, Doubleya made several searches such as [should I invade I rack] (sic), [where is Iraq] and [is Iraq sunny this time of year]. No one is sure if these Googlings returned the “right” answers, although subsequent searches ([has Iraq war started yet]) seem to indicate they did.
• During the Hurricane Katrina crisis and in the early aftermath, the search phrase [where is new aweleans] showed up. This was quickly followed, in classic search usage progression, by more targeted searches like [is new orleans in america], [how from my ranch is new orleans] and [if I went to new orleans, would I still be in America]. As the crisis escalated, searches such as [what do fema do], [how do they name hurricanes] and [good spot for fly fishing] became increasingly common.
• Underage drinking featured heavily, no surprise given Barb jnr’s run ins with the law. His Chillen seem to be a problem a lot, as [ask dr phil how to be better parent] was a frequent search, as was [does the naughty spot work on teenagers] after the launch of Supernanny, rumoured to be the President’s favourite show.
• Despite being all grown up and president of the most powerful country in the world, Doubleya still suffers anxiety. [does daddy love me] and [am as good a presidant as daddy] (sic) were frequent searches for the President.
• Despite strong fundamental Christian views and support, it appears Doubleya has frequent lapses of faith. Doubleya Googled [is god real], [what is evolootion] (sic), [did we really descend from monkeys] and [is evolution why arnie looks like a gorilla] soon after the “Intelligent design” debate began.

The UK division of BIN supplied results for Blair, but all he ever seemed to Google was [cheap makeup delivered].

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Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings, Facts And Figures