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UPONG In Yet Another World First
October 14th, 2005 by mike
With the release of their latest product, everyone’s favourite imaginary organisaton, UPONG, have achieved a world’s first: the first ever release of an Ironic product.
“As an organisation dedicated to Underpanters and Openly Nakeds, we decided that the obvious choice of clothing to release (undies or a thong / G String), just wasn’t our style”, El Presidente Motherwell said. “No obvious product release here. Oh no. Nothing so painstakingly linear. We mixed it up. We went all Artsy and Avant Garde on you. You could even say we have broken new ground for imaginary organisations anywhere. That’s right, we did it: we released a T-Shirt. Bet you didn’t see that coming now, did you, eh?”
But it wasn’t all humour value and pretentious posturing that made the decision a no-brainer.
“Oh hell no”, Motherwell claimed in a shocked and slightly hurt voice. “Look, sure, we all sit around in various levels of undressedness skanking it up, but even UPONG hardliners accept that, on rare occasion, we have to go out into the Real World v1.0 (although we still can’t believe the big Fella let it out of beta with such poor QA and glaringly obvious flaws). And lets get real for a moment: a T-Shirt, especially one with an undie waving smilie, is sexy as all heck, and just plain makes for some good, quality Formal Wear.”
Unlike the usual ISoS product launches, that are simply too sophisticated to be trusted in the hands of most people, the UPONG T-Shirt is actually available for purchase, without requiring an essay.
“After so many Ãœber secret, mega-record busting, hyper complicated and ridiculously powerful product launches, we just felt the time was right to launch something mainstream, and give back to those less fortunate”, Motherwell condescended.
“In the end, we just felt that, despite being made of high tech materials and being all like space age and stuff, a T-Shirt was something that even Joe Noob could be trusted to operate within design specifications”, El Presidente lectured.
UPONG plan to sell the T-Shirts to raise money for unspecified reasons, with Motherwell adding:
“There is absoultely no truth to the rumours I am receiving payment for my work with UPONG. None at all. Not even a hint of truth. Not one dollar do I receive. Not a single cent. Heck, not even a brass razoo. Not even close. No UPONGate here people. Nothing to see. Move along.
“It truly is a labour of love”, Motherwell exulted. “I sit here in my undies cause I love it. That and cause it is Spring here. I absolutely do not do it because I get any financial return, and I want that stated categorically and for the record. Read my lips, no new UPONG stipends.
“Why, what have you heard anyway?? Did Scottie say something? She did, didn’t she? She said something? Scottie blabbed didn’t she? Last time I tell her anything, the blabberer…”
So get your Ironic, Avant Garde UPONG T-Shirt today before… well, before… oh just go buy one cheapskate!
<update>In response to calls from Underpanters wishing to distance themselves from the openly nakeds, especially on clothing, a small UPONG splinter group has released a rival T-shirt: http://www.cafepress.com/upong.33797897.
El Presidente in no way endorses this movement, although he does support diversity and choice, and members rights to hold contrary, none UPONG endorsed views.</update>
Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings, UPONG
1 Comment Add your own
1. Torka | October 27th, 2005 at 5:29 am
I’m concerned about the idea of a “splinter group” having anything to do with people who are already working in the buff. It just sounds too painful…
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