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Press Release: Underpanters Get Own Trade Group
October 14th, 2005 by mike
Hot on the heels of SEMPO and SMA-NA, the Underpanters now have their own organisation: Underpanter Professionals and Openly Naked Guild, aka UPONG.
Dedicated to serving Underpanters unique needs, UPONG’s goal is to unite the Underpanters of the SEM community, a group long shunned and overlooked by mainstream organisations, and provide them with tools designed to help spotlight the industry.
The goals of the group are simple, according to founding president, Michael Motherwell. “Our goal is to take the great SEM unwashed, the Underpanters, and represent them when and where no one else will, to stand up for their rights to sit around in their undies (or less) and do what they do best, without the need to resort to clothes.”
Mr Motherwell said that the unique work conditions and environment of Underpanters made them as a group ripe, often for victimisation, by those who “…scrub up better but usually provide lesser results”.
“‘Mainstream’ organisations”, Mr Motherwell added, “all too often try to stamp out Underpanters. This sort of discrimination is based on a false belief that no one can do serious work wearing something as revealing as boxers.” This was, he said, patently untrue, and Mr Motherwell listed high performance, a high level of support and a results driven culture as the key differentiators of Underpanters. “UPONG will be the voice of Underpanters”, he said, and will conduct research that showed that Underpanters are “…usually cutting edge, and far more effective than their over-dressed brethren”.
The task of uniting Underpanters will, Mr Motherwell admits, be quite hard due to “…Underpanters unwillingness to venture out into the sunlight.” This aversion to sun will, in fact, be “…a core part of the organisations goals, with meetings to be conducted via forums and/or group chat, thus negating the need to put on clothes or, indeed, shower”.
To join UPONG, prospective members must meet only one requirement: they must work either in their undies or Birthday suit (Openly Nakeds). In the past, this has been a sticky point in the Underpanter community, with Openly Nakeds often claiming not to belong to the same industry. “Although I prefer others to wear Underpants as I have an over active imagination”, Mr Motherwell said, “the raging debate and schism between Underpanters and the Openly Naked is one UPONG chooses not to participate in. UPONG will continue to work for the betterment of both groups and the industry as a whole, and will not force members to choose either dress code. While many want to see the long debated Code of Dress Ethics implemented, this is not a part of the UPONG charter nor on the short-term UPONG radar. However, if members want it, they are welcome to join and vote for it”
UPONG’s first meeting will take place in the next few weeks, and is open to underpanters the world over or, as Mr Motherwell put it, “Seppos, Whinging Pom, Euro Trash, sheep #^%$^%$# Kiwi… all are welcome to join UPONG“.
To register your interest in UPONG and to receive details and updates,email UPONG with your contact details.
PS: this may provide some with valuable context for some.
<update>UPONG now have an official logo: 
This logo, we feel, unites the Openly Naked and Underpanters under a common flag.</update>
Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings, Community Announcements, UPONG
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