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ISoS Exclusive: Yahoo Fight Google Fire With Ice
October 14th, 2005 by mike
In a response to the bandwagon that is MC - Hammer’s - Visit - to - Google, and lunch, ISoS are proud to announce that, far from getting on no bandwagon, we are breaking a celebrity visit story of our own.
Yes, that is right, Google’s biggest rival and current Google shareholder, Yahoo, have organised a secret celebrity visit of their own, and trumped Google in the process. Yahoo have managed to get the biggest 90’s has-been of all: Robert Van Winkle, aka the 90’s Eminem, Vanilla Ice (Ice baby).
A Yahoo spokesperson, speaking exclusively to ISoS with a promise of Anonymity (cause their parents were so mean. I mean really, if you last name is Pipe, naming your kid Dwayne is just cruel) said:
“Can’t Touch this? Can’t touch this? Yahoo see your MC Hammer, and raise you a Vanilla Ice. Touch that Google. Let’s see what you can do now that Hammer Time has been surpassed, oh you of the Do No Evil.”
Not to be out done by their bigger rivals, Ask Jeeves, in a “Kill two birds with one stone” PR move, invited (somewhat) famous actor Daniel Davis, who played Niles, the Butler from TV’s imminently forgettable The Nanny, for a suprise visit.
An Ask Jeeves representative said to ISoS in a Universal Exclusive™: “What, with all the fuss over us killing off of that annoying Butler and all, and the threats of legal action from the Butler Union Members, inviting Daniel Davis effectively created a good Butler news story, whilst also responding in kind to the growing need for a 90’s has-been visit to compete in the Modern Search game. We are really happy with Niles from The Nanny’s visit, and we feel it achieved all the goals we set for it, in terms of KPIs, if not surpassed them.”
Indeed it has, with Yahoo and Google said to be left fuming over what they see as really scraping the bottom of an already well scraped and shallow has-been barrel.
Amidst this frenzy of has-been activity, one SE has remained terribly quiet: MSN. ISoS sources within Redmond spoke of this latest Search Wars development, and confided that, far from being left behind yet again in the search stakes, Bill Gates has made finding a celebrity has-been to visit his number one quarter 3 goal. Gates was also heard to remark that they had really dropped the ball on this one (as well), but that that MSN had “someone big in mind” for their has-been visit, and that this has-been would not merely be a case of playing catch up, but actually a massive advancement in has-been visits.
ISoS haven’t been able to confirm who this “someone big” is, but when we were told “I pity the fool search engine that invites MC Hammer”, ISoS felt that was a pretty big clue.
That said, our MSN deep throat was also heard to say “By the power of Redmond, what you talking about, IIISSooooSSSS. Has-been visits?? Homey don’t play that. I ain’t organisin’ no damn has-been visit, FOOL!
“Say What? Google Are doing it? You’re in BIG TROUBLE, Mister! MSNBots, Transform and rollout and… COOME OOONNNN DOOOWWWWN!!! Resistance is futile. Has-been visits are go. And who could the has-been vist be? Could it be…. Satan?’
So maybe he was just thinking out loud. Or is a complete and utter loser.
Only time will tell.
Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings, Rumours
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