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Grandpa Simpson’s Letter To The DMOZ
October 14th, 2005 by mike
Also available as a Podcast. Thank you timmy Whalen
Warning: this Blog goes out to all the people that have a gripe with The DMOZ, and post in every forum and media they can. Of course, if you aren’t a Simpson’s fan, it won’t make much sense (but then, when do ISoS posts ever make much sense??)
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Dear The DMOZ,
I am appalled by the way The DMOZ is treating my listing.
It all started back in 1999, when I submitted a site on Matlock and onions. Not brown onions mind, but red onions, as was the style at the time. I said to the editor “Give me three listings for a bee” which is what we called nickels back then, and the editor said “For a bee? No hope”.
In the subsequent years, I became increasingly frustrated with the way The DMOZ works. Its protrayal of old people in particular upsets me. I remember an incident that happened back in the early, heady days of the Bush Administration. The son that is, not the father. You know, the nice boy from Texas with the cheesey grin and blank look.
So there I was, clothed in only a dusty rag, as was the style at the time, attempting to submit my site using my trusty Amiga, which was popular back then, on oldies looking for love, www.geriatrics-on-heat.com. I can safely report that an appalling wait to be listed ensued.
The people that use my site are old, old I tells ya, and if I have to wait too long I might…IP, OP, sorry, I almost had a heart attack there, where was I? Yes that’s right, www.geriatrics-on-heat.com. As I lost the non hyphenated domain in an incident involving serious alegations I am not at liberty to discuss, I was refused a listing, and subsequently geriatrics all over the country have not found love.
As them young skalliwags at Google seems to like a DMOZ listing, this got my blood so to boiling that I says to Jasper, them Google people’s is not respecting us old folks, and shot them off a letter furious at their refusal to develop a Matlock Search Engine called “Matlockoogle”, which I first suggested when they released the Back Rub search engine in the heady days of the dotcom boom, before all them VC types was begging on the streets.
And that was how I saved Christmas for all the orphans.
Abe Simpson
Entry Filed under: Mike's Ramblings
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